


Blue Silk Roses

by cynicallywritten



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crossdressing, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Suggestive Themes, brief violent scene, crossdressing!jungwoo, crossdressing!sicheng, crossdressing!taeil, jangmi is jungwoos crossdressing name, lots of jealousy in this one, sasung is sichengs crossdressing name, some events might be rearranged or modified, this is set from firetruck era to empathy-ish, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25778158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicallywritten/pseuds/cynicallywritten
Summary: Jungwoo and Jangmi are the same person, but nobody knows that. He never planned on revealing the truth, but between a chance meeting, joining a renowned entertainment company, and falling in love with your teammate, there’s a lot he didn’t take into account. Now he’s stuck with a lot of choices to make, a lot of people to apologize to, and a heart he’d never meant to break.(He thought it was Yuta's, but it ended up being his own.)
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Lee Taeyong, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Jungwoo/Nakamoto Yuta, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Qian Kun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Pleated White Skirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this is my second work on here, and both my yuwin fic (paper, flowers) and this one will be worked on at the same time, so apologies if this one/the other one gets kinda slow update-wise. if you haven't noticed, jungwoo is my fave character to write hehe, and I really love this rarepair (well i mean it was more of a rarepair when i first started writing concepts whoops)!  
> enjoy reading ~  
> \- r

"Can I get your name?"

"Jangmi," she says with a smile, glossy lips and pearly whites, before shuffling away towards the waiting area. Her hands play with the ends of her cream coloured sweater, and then her long, lightly curled brown hair. When she gets her drink, a caramel macchiato with extra caramel, the man handing it over asks for her number. She declines, knowing better than to get involved with anyone who doesn't know that _she_ is actually a _he_.

Jangmi is a crossdresser. Rather, that's the name given to her feminine persona by the real her, Jungwoo. He doesn't know exactly when it started, but he does remember meeting another crossdresser named Sasung, who encouraged him to try it. Then he remembers opening an instagram page, and getting pretty popular in Korea. Nobody knows the real him though, except for Sasung himself.

"Now, where to sit..." her eyes scanned the small cafe for a free table.

Jungwoo didn’t have a specific reason to crossdress. He never did it all the time, it was just something he did for fun once in a while. To him it just felt good, to express some more feminine aspects of his personality in what he considered some form of fishy drag.

She let out an 'a-ha' when she found what she was looking for, weaving through the small group of people like a needle through fabric. She just about missed the figure that sped in front of her, leading to the both of them on the ground, both their coffee, puddles on the ground. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" They immediately get up, the man getting closer, seeing that her pleated white skirt was stained with his americano. She didn't get a good look at him before he rushed away, telling her to take the table she planned on getting to anyways.

"Here," he said, with a few paper towels lapped up in his arms messily. As he was helping her dry off the coffee stains, she got a good look at the man in front of her. Lightly tousled dark brown hair, much like her own, a pair of round, almond eyes that seemed intimidating but friendly, and a warm infectious smile when he laughed. She found herself laughing along with him, the shock of the whole thing having been washed away like flower petals in the wind.

The man took a seat across her, sighing to catch his breath after laughing. "Again, I'm really sorry for bumping into you. Could I make it up by buying you a new coffee?" "It's totally my fault, don't worry about it. I wasn't looking anyways, so-" "Let's say it was your fault. If you let me repay you with coffee, then maybe I can forgive you for bumping into me," He says, putting air quotes on the word 'bumping'. Jangmi chuckles and tells him what she ordered before.

It was only a few minutes before he came back with both the drinks in hand, taking his spot before. "I'm Yuta, by the way. I'm here from Japan, on a business-type trip," the man introduces, making her feel the need to do the same. "I'm Jangmi. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of business?" “You see, I’m actually here to audition for SM Entertainment. It’s my second round, since I passed the first one in my hometown," he explains, Jangmi's ears perking up at the sound of the company name.

Jungwoo had always wanted to audition for SM. He knew that Sasung was already in the entertainment company, and let him know about the upcoming auditions. "That's impressive, congrats!" "Thanks," Yuta said sheepishly, "but honestly, I have to give credit to my friend Taeyong. He's already a trainee there, and encouraged me to sign up. We met a long time ago, when my parents were working here one summer and sent me to a soccer camp since they didn't have much time to take care of me. We bonded pretty quickly and stayed in touch while he taught me Korean."

Jangmi wondered if Sasung and Taeyong had ever met each other in the company. Maybe they were good friends already, she'd have to ask. "I'd love to talk more, but I should probably go. I don't want to be late for the audition." Yuta gets up, and something inside presses Jungwoo to grab Yuta’s arm in haste, then drop it awkwardly. “It was really fun talking, I hope we can do it again sometime.” She began to blush, hearing that cute laugh. "Yeah, sounds good to me. Do you have an Instagram or something?" "I've got Instagram, I can give you my username," she says, pulling out her phone.

_@yuu_taa_1026 started following you!_

The notification dinged, and soon after she heard one ding come from his own phone as well. "Message me any time, can't wait to hang out again sometime," he says, finally taking his leave. "Same here, and good luck!" She yelled, seeing him wave, confirming that he heard her. As she sits back down, getting another notification, this time an email from SM about her own audition. She smiles, knowing that she'd purposely left out the part where she also planned to audition for SM, but not as Jangmi.

Just maybe, Yuta and him would be meeting again a little bit earlier than he anticipated.

(He just wouldn't know it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I'm not sure if this was clear but whenever Jungwoo is in drag and speaking/thinking/feeling from the perspective of Jangmi, I'll be using she/her, and he/him whenever it's from his own POV. hope that's not too confusing, and helps make the two characters distinct!  
> \- r


	2. Denim Overalls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter! (it's not too far but thanks for sticking around these two past chapters)
> 
> this one's very songfic style, with the main song being Instagram by Dean! go give it a listen if you haven't and consider giving haechan and jungwoo's mini cover a listen to add to the immersion of this chapter!
> 
> \- r

_@yuu_taa_1026: you look great today :)_

Jungwoo read over the comment of his Instagram post a few times, smiling as he sent a reply. " _thx yuta!_ " it said, with a cute heart emoji right after. It meant more that he could express at the moment, as now he was sitting in a waiting room to be called to audition.

He knew he'd be nervous, but somehow his brain kept tricking him into thinking he wasn't worried about it until it gave up at the last second. His nerves were finally getting the better of him, but he wasn't scared of the audition, more so just what to do after if he didn't get in.

"Kim Jungwoo, you're up," a staff member beckoned, gesturing to enter the audition room. Turning off his phone, he left his stuff in the room and entered to see the judges.

"Hello," a few of the judges said to him, and he bowed politely, muttering a 'hello' back in response. They eyed him, looking him up and down. He was wearing a yellow shirt with the overalls Yuta had just complimented, accessorizing with a cute yellow bucket hat that had a banana embroidered onto it. "Bananas for you," he remembers Yuta flirting earlier. He found it cute, and would definitely be interested if Yuta knew about the real him. Jungwoo figured it was best to distance himself for this purpose, but he couldn't help but blush at almost everything Yuta did.

They asked him questions about his experience, about who inspired him and why he wanted to be an SM idol. After answering all of them, one of the judges piped up and said: "Anyways, enough of that, I want to see your talent. Start whenever you'd like."

Jungwoo told them earlier that he'd sing Dean's 'Instagram', and the staff start up the backing track when he gives the nod. He starts to tap his foot to sync up with the beat of the music.

_I know tomorrow is coming_  
_But I can't let go of my phone_  
_Sleep just isn't coming to me, yeah_  
_So I'm on Instagram, Instagram again_

He closed his eyes, the ball of nerves in his throat melting away like warm caramel. He was going to enjoy this, whatever result came of it.

_So many hotshots here_  
_Some are on vacation_  
_I didn’t press like_  
_'Cause it feels like I’m the only one like this_  
_Inside Instagram, Instagram_

He grips the mic tighter, like it was going to slip and fall out of his hands. He imagined the judges' eyes widening in awe. The truth didn't have to matter if he couldn't see it, right?

_It’s a problem_  
_In the whole world_  
_It’s the same love song_  
_But it doesn’t touch me_  
_In my night_  
_There are too many thoughts_

He could hear the scratching sound of pen on paper. The taps on the floor and the clipboards were distracting to a certain degree, but he was enjoying himself too much to care, really.

_There are too many thoughts_  
_Lonely lonely so lonely_  
_Are things always this hard?_  
_No way no way_  
_In this feed_  
_People are living in a different world from me_

Jungwoo thinks about Sasung. About how they haven't talked in a while. Sasung was probably busy anyways, with his new debut coming up. He hoped they could debut together. He thinks of Yuta.

_I’m useless posting these pictures_  
_But no one knows my hidden feelings behind them_  
_I’m wandering again_  
_Inside Instagram_

He thinks of his crossdressing instagram account. How would he maintain that if he actually got into SM? Would he abandon it, or tell his members? Maybe do it in secret? He thinks of Yuta.

_Yeah so how are you these days?_  
_I’m still the same, can’t sleep_  
_Your short hair looked so pretty_  
_But I didn’t press like_  
_'Cause it would be weird_

What happens if people find out? Would they actually care? What would they think of him if he found out? He thinks of Yuta.

_All night_  
_Just wasting time like this_  
_Inside your Instagram_

He thinks of Yuta again.

"Thank you for your audition. We'll let you know..." Jungwoo stopped paying attention to the judges, letting their words trail into one ear and out the other. He just nodded and made his way out, picking up his bags on the way out of the facility

He just couldn't get the man with the infectious smile out of his brain. He just couldn't stop thinking about Yuta.

And so he thinks of Yuta, again and again and again, until his brain gets tired of thinking itself. But no matter how many times his thoughts drift back to the island that is the man's eye, hair, smile, he can't eradicate him.

 _It's driving me crazy_ , he thinks, and it's the one thought that isn't directly Yuta for the rest of the night.


	3. Red Tank Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here comes another! this story has been super fun to write lately, so that's why you might see a lot up updates for it! (also i may or may not be motivated by a certain best friend of mine who's reading all of these and hyping me up- ty carly ily)
> 
> \- r

Congratulations, you've been selected as-

Jungwoo reads the letter over one more time before stuffing it carefully into his bag. The bumps in the road make it hard for him to focus on the screen of the phone he pulls out afterwards.

He checks Yuta's story, dming him about a picture of him in a loose red tank top with a graphic of some random words, posing in front of a mirror to a dance room. _"which group did u get into?"_

It's late at night, but Jungwoo wasn't surprised to know he was still practicing. He was ready to start doing a lot of late night practicing as well since he knew it was expected of him as a trainee. He wouldn't even be surprised if he started as soon as he got there.

"We're here," the driver of the car tells Jungwoo, getting out and opening the door of the van for him. "Need help carrying anything?" He shakes his head, he didn't have much to carry anyways.

"You'll thank me later, we're on the tenth floor and the elevator is broken," another voice says, taking a small suitcase untouched by Jungwoo. "Taeyong busy again?" "Yep, he sent me to get the newbie again," the driver and the man converse.

The driver turns to Jungwoo. "This is Doyoung, he's a vocalist trainee like you. I'm done here for now then, I'll see you both around sometime maybe," he gets back into the car, and drives away. Doyoung waves as the car disappears into the distance.

"So," turning back to Jungwoo, "You're the newbie?" Jungwoo nods, feeling intimidated by the man who's barely his height. He has jet black hair and is wearing a striped blue shirt that seems lightly pelted with sweat. "We're just finishing up practice. I'll introduce you to Taeyong once he's done with the rest of us."

Taeyong, Jungwoo recalls, is the friend of Yuta's. He wonders if they got into the same group. Maybe Sasung is with them too. He'd forgotten to ask him about Yuta and Taeyong, but he guessed it didn't matter now that he was going to find out himself. "I'm not sure if anyone's told you yet, but congrats. SM's not easy to get into." Jungwoo appreciated the words coming from Doyoung, and told him a polite 'thanks'.

Doyoung led him to a small practice room, and knocked on a door with frosted glass. "Hyung! New kid's here." A man with silver hair snapped to the mention of his name, seeing Doyoung and Jungwoo in view.

"Hey!" He walked closer to the pair of trainees. He put his hand on Jungwoo's shoulder, something that made him flinch at the sudden contact. "Welcome to SM. I'm sure you already know about me a little, so let's get you acquainted with all the other trainees."

He introduced him to several other trainees like Taeil and Jaehyun, who were practicing alongside him, and Taeyong and him both said goodbye to them and Doyoung when Taeyong led him to his dorm. "You'll be rooming with Johnny. Everyone says he's a little intimidating at first, but honestly he's just a big teddy-" "Hey!" A very tall man exclaims as he exits his room, seeing Taeyong. "Oh? Is this my new roomie?" Jungwoo shyly nods.

Johnny also had jet black hair just like Doyoung, and a blocky face shape. Despite his sharp appearance, he seemed as soft as Taeyong described, from what Jungwoo could see while the two converse. While the two are in their own world, he saw a head of blonde hair speed past the three. "Hey-" Jungwoo called, approaching the retreating figure, catching them just in time.

As the figure turned around, Jungwoo immediately recognized the soft features and unique 'fairy' ear of his best friend Sasung. He'd seen his friend in a variety of different hair colours, but this time it was blonde all around with a tuft of pink messily coloured in the front. It seemed that the boy recognized him too. "Jangm-" Jungwoo shushed him. "S-Sorry! I go by Jungwoo out of cross. What about you, Sas-" It was Sasung's turn to shush him. "Sicheng. You can call me Sicheng." The both of them look at each other and laugh.

"It's been a while since we got to talk. So? You got into SM? Congrats!" "Yeah! I've been wanting to ask you about life as a trainee, but it looks like I'll be trying it out with you," Jungwoo says, a big grin on his face. He was very glad to have someone he knew in the company, and even more glad it was Sicheng.

"We finally meet in real life for the first time. We need to have a girls night out sometime to celebrate!" "Definitely," Sicheng agrees, "How's next week Saturday? All trainees get weekends off." "Sweet! I should probably get back to Taeyong and Johnny then, I kinda ditched them." After they share one more laugh together, they part ways and Jungwoo is back with the other two, who are surprisingly still talking.

"Hey, you're back!" Taeyong exclaimed, making Jungwoo chuckle. "Yeah, I just met Sicheng!" "Oh nice! I think that's everyone awake right now actually-" Taeyong says, leading Jungwoo to his room alongside Johnny. "-so why don't you meet the rest of the members tomorrow, sound good?" Jungwoo hums in agreement, plopping his slightly heavy bags on the floor in front of his bed with an audible thud.

"Who's this? A new member?"

Jungwoo swears his heart drops. He knew that voice, but it wasn't Sicheng, and it wasn't Taeyong or Johnny. He remembered it from a short time before meeting all of them, before SM, belonging to a certain someone he met in a cafe after spilling an americano on his pleated white skirt.

"Yuta? I didn't think you'd be awake."

Shit.

"Well, here I am. Who's this?"

Jungwoo turns around with a smile, looking him up and down. It was the same dark brown hair, almond eyes and infectious smile, that was now smiling back at him. "Jungwoo, I'm Kim Jungwoo. I'm set to be joining NCT with you, so please take care of me," he introduces himself. Yuta locks eyes with Jungwoo, and he sees a flash of something in them. Jungwoo checks his phone and sees a message he should've gotten a long time ago.

_@yuu_taa_1026: i'm scheduled to debut with Taeyong in a group called nct! isn't that great?_

His heart drops again.

"Have you two...already met?"

(Oh, Taeyong has no idea. Neither does Yuta, Jungwoo thinks.

Yuta? He isn't quite sure himself.)


End file.
